Yeah I'm with her...

City Winery, NYC

     With all of this immigration nonsense going on I was annoyed that I missed out on getting tickets to see Kaitlyn Bristowe’s spring break live podcast tour (because who would have thought I would still be in New York come March!?) Any of my friends can tell you how obsessed I am with KB. She was once the bachelorette on ABC and is now running a ridiculous amount of businesses including a podcast, scrunchie line, and apparently upcoming vocal artist? So on the day of the show last week, I saw that Kaitlyn had posted on her Dew Edit page (name of her scrunchie company) about that nights live show in the city. I figured I’d post a comment about my disappointment of not being able to go to the show, hoping for a miracle that she would magically just want to invite me or someone would have a ticket they were selling. What happened next was something I couldn't ever imagine occurring.

      As I send out this post I see that Kaitlyn (or whoever runs the Dew Edit page) likes my comment. I start scrolling through the other comments seeing if anyone is selling, when all of a sudden I see a post from another fan who had no idea this event was even going on and was desperate to go. She was also searching for a single ticket, and got a reply from a girl who said that she had 2 tickets to sell because she was unable to go to the show herself. Tickled with delight for myself and this possible opportunity I quickly typed in that I would take a spare ticket because I was flying solo if I went (because my friends are not as obsessed as I am, and rightfully so). The girl agrees to sell me one of her tickets and Corinne (the other fan searching for a ticket) the other spare. All of a sudden I start thinking the worst, like what if this is a scam? This is just way too good to be true, and she only wanted the amount she paid for the ticket! I’m not as trusting of the internet as most so I start messaging Corinne and the girl (Jeneva) who was selling the ticket. I express my concerns to Corinne about buying the ticket from a stranger while also expressing to Jeneva my interest in buying, without sounding too eager (which I was SOO EAGER!). Corinne had said that Jeneva had already sent her the ticket without even paying her yet so she was all on board. Once I exchanged emails with Jeneva and saw she had also already sent me the ticket my worries faded and I knew that this was just meant to happen. I should also mention that this was a mere 4 hours before the show was starting which meant I had to be ready to leave to get into the city in 2 hours (also meant that I would have to wash my hair that night, and that’s a major process).

     By the time I knew it I was all jazzed up and on my way into the city. Excited was an understatement to how I felt, I had nervous sweats and everything from the anticipation of seeing the show and wondering where my seats would be. When I got to City Winery (the venue for the show) I was pleasantly surprised that it was an intimate crowd (probably around 100 or less people, and mostly females). I didn’t have to wait online very long before getting inside, since I was spot on with my timing getting there as soon as the doors opened. What I thought was strange was that they didn’t even ask to look at my ticket! The guy merely just asked for the last name that the ticket was under and a girl ushered me over to my seat. That’s really when the magic happened. I was just feeling lucky enough to get a ticket last minute so it really would not have mattered to me where I was sitting but as I was following this girl to my seat she passed through the back all the way up to the middle section of the stage and 3^rd table in!! WHATTTT I couldn’t believe my luck just then, not only did this happen only a few hours before but the seats were literally up next to the stage.
https://citywinery.com/newyork/

     Of course I ended up buying some exclusive to the tour merchandise before getting settled into my seat at the show. Corinne still hadn’t showed up and I was beginning to think she was going to be late, until only a few minutes before the show she was escorted over to the seat next to me. She had explained that she had been there from the beginning, and the girl seating people had put her at the wrong table all the way in the back of the room. We quickly hit it off and chatted about everything KB and bachelor. We already knew that KB was bringing her new boyfriend Jason Tartick, who I have been asked by a lot of people who know my love for KB how I feel about them together. I was open to giving them a fair shot since I would be seeing them in person together and really see how they interact. For me it was very weird to just see her with anyone but Shawn, who I had also met back in December of 2017 when I had dragged Sam to her Broadway show that was a Christmas concert.

     So Brandi Cryrus (Miley’s sister) comes out and starts pumping the crowd up djing and the show is ready to start. It gets quickly underway and right into some of the topics KB usually hits on her podcast. They do their confessional (admit something embarrassing they have done), bring out Jason’s brother and brother in law, sing karaoke, and got into an intense game of rock paper scissor with a fan. It was a great show in that they were super interactive with the crowd. People were yelling things up at them and they would just talk right back and incorporate it into the conversation. There was also A LOT of sexual conversation which at this point I’m sure was mostly triggered by the large consumption of alcohol on stage and the crowd of mostly single girls swooning over Jason. There were even a few digs about KB’s ex fiancé, Shawn Booth, that I was not a fan of. I don’t think bad talking your ex is cool to do in any situation, especially to a crowd of people that are easily influenced by what you do, but again was probably because of the alcohol consumption that they really laid into him. But the show was playful and they even did a FaceTime session with Kaitlyn’s mom who is also hilarious!

     I was super thankful for the intermission after 2 hours of the show going on (I was not expecting it to be so long so I was really feeling like I got my money’s worth!) because after 2 glasses of wine I was in dire need of a ladies room break. On the line I got chatting to a girl named Brooke who was the sweetest human. We chatted about the show and back story to how we got tickets. She was in a similar situation getting tickets last minute to the show and was surprising her sister who recently went through a bad break up (I told you she was sweet). We exchanged Instagram handles as we parted ways and got ready for the second half of the show. Since there was still a bit of time left I figured I would go grab one last glass of wine at the bar to hold me over till the end of the show. That’s when I met another very nice human who offered to order my drink for me since the bartenders were way understaffed and she had been waiting for a while. We ended up chatting and when our drinks were finally served we put our money in together and she ended up having to Venmo (transfer money app) to me to make it even. I was thinking to myself where else in the world could you be this trusting of other humans? And why was everyone so nice?!? It was on another level of girl power (that sounds lame but I can’t think of any other way to describe it!) There was no cattiness with each girl, we were all just there for a good time. Going to this show was like being with 100 people who have the same kind of personality as you because how can you not if you’re a fan of Kaitlyn who is laid-back, funny, and kind to everyone.

     The end of the show comes around I shout out to Jason for a quick selfie and then I opened the flood gates because all of a sudden I was trapped in between chairs and couldn’t move. When the Off the Vine (name of the podcast) cast finally went off the stage people were flying out of there to catch cabs and get trains home. But Corinne and I are standing there slowly putting on out coats while she was telling me she was going to try to get into the meet and greet. Although our tickets said premium you were supposed to pay another $50 ticket to get into the meet and greet. Corinne had said she talked to Brandi Cyrus at intermission and she told her to stick around for the meet and greet. I quickly jumped onto this band wagon because you know why not? What was the worst that could happen?

     Like a bat out of hell Corinne was forming her own line for the meet and greet and I was just in awe of how in charge she was. I push through the crowd telling people “yeah I’m with her” as she barricaded through people telling them to get out of the way. As we’re waiting on the line a woman who was running the event came over asking to see everyone’s wrist bands. As the few girls in front of us on line all lift their wrist to show their neon green wrist bands, I was thinking game over we’re out. But as quick as the woman asked us for ours Corinne spit out her story of Brandi Cyrus telling her to stay. To which the woman replied if you don’t have a ticket you can’t get in and she’d be back to check on us. I told Corinne how impressed I was that she was just so cool and confident talking to everyone that even I believed she was supposed to be in there. I told her to do all the talking since the honest human part of me was like "go home Nicole you’re not supposed to be on this line". But I stayed put with my new friend who had more lady balls than I did. She even chatted up the bouncer holding the line up in front of the door. When a guy came over from the meet and greet area asking us where our wrist bands were Corinne did her thing and he simply said how many of you and when we said it was just the 2 of us they ushered us in to go meet Kaitlyn, Jason, and Brandi. Que the biggest smile on my face with a hint of how the actual F did that just work.

     Now if this wasn’t magic enough, I was able to chat with KB for a hot minute telling her how much I loved the show and that I had met her on her final night on Broadway. She then replied F yeah and high fived me and I think I might have blacked out with happiness because of all the fan girling going on in my body. We said a quick hello and took a picture with Brandi Cyrus who admired my new mustard yellow scarf that my very talented mother in law had made for me. As we made our way through the cast we were directed to a table just before the exit where we pick up our party bag complete with MVMT sunglasses and scrunchie!!!!! Oh happy day, like a big in pooh I couldn’t stop squealing with excitement.

     

     With some of my new friends in toe we jumped in a cab on the way to Penn Station so I could catch the drunk train home. I said goodbye to Corinne and went on my way to the LIRR while she went opposite to the NJ transit. My happiness was so overwhelming I didn’t even mind being squished in between to very large KISS fans who had just come from the concert at MSG. And if there is anything to be learned from all of this it’s don’t be afraid to go places on your own because you just don’t know who you could meet and what could come of the night. I went from just sitting in the basement of my parents’ house picking out which show I would binge watch that night on Netflix to seeing a show of a podcast I love with my biggest style/life icon. I did it in Hollywood at Universal Studios and I did it in NYC. I’m now a firm believer in taking the opportunities given to you no matter by yourself or with a group. But by doing things on my own I get to meet new people, and I felt more approachable and comfortable talking to people when I wouldn’t usually do if I was with a group. It was seriously and insane night that was completely unexpected.

My new bad ass new friend Corinne 

The first time I met Kaitlyn December 2017

Kaitlyn's ex fiance Shawn Booth

Sky High in Colorado!

Colorado

Denver; First Draft Taproom & Kitchen, Finn’s Manor

Colorado Springs- Pleasant Valley: Garden of the Gods Park & Resort

Frisco; Outer Range Brew Co.,

Idaho Springs; Tommy Knocker Brewing

Steamboat Springs; Strawberry Park Hot Springs

Genesee Park; Buffalo Herd National Preserve

Red Rocks Park; Red Rocks Amphitheater

Lafayette; Stem Cider

Boulder; Amante Coffee, Pearl Street Mall,

Louisville; Waterloo

     Valentine’s Day wasn’t what I expected it to be this year, but turned out to be one of the best. Instead of being with Sam, one of my best friends Michelle flew me out to Colorado to go visit her in her new home state. This was my first time ever there and I can now see what all the fuss is about. There is a ridiculous amount of things to do and incredible scenery. It is honestly an active person’s dream place to live. People are always biking, hiking, snow shoeing, skiing, snowboarding, and trail running. I’m tired just thinking about it all.

     On the first night we ventured into Downtown Denver, where we had ourselves a delicious Mexican meal and extremely large margaritas (because if you’re single/not with your significant other on Valentine’s Day tequila is always helpful). If you know me you know I’m a bit of a beer snob, and so is Michelle which is one of the many reasons I love her. So us going to a brewery was definitely in the cards for the night and many other nights of the trip. We went to this place called First Draft Taproom and Kitchen and it is what beer lovers’ dreams are made of. It wasn’t a single brewery taproom but had multiple companies brands on tap from near and far. But the cool part about it is that you get this arcade looking plastic card that you tap above the beer you want and it keeps track of how many ounces you’ve drank and the cost of the pour (it’s also how you pay out at the end of the night). This is seriously genius because it means you never have to stand in front of a bar waiting to be served, you get to try every kind of beer (and a few selections of wine and cider) they have to offer without wasting a whole pour. Basically it’s like being in a taproom with all of your favorite breweries. If you’ve ever been to South Street Sea Port in NYC they do a similar looking pop up stand there. After First Draft we ventured not too far to Finn’s Manor. This place is known for their large selection of whiskey, so it would have been rude not to have at least one drink there before heading home. This bar has a great outdoor seating area with a large picnic style tables with a fire pit in the middle. Drinking at this table made me think this could be a huge fire hazard but I did love it since it was chilly out and was just the right touch to keep it cozy outside.

https://www.firstdraftdenver.com/

https://www.finnsmanor.co/

     The next day Michelle and I headed to Louisville quick for some breakfast before a hike at Garden of the Gods Park near Colorado Springs. Now this place is on another level of amazingness. It has these red rocks/mountain looking things that tower so high up it is just incredible to think how the heck they came about. Not to mention it is photographed on a daily basis and is an Instagram tourist spot. It is actually impossible to take a bad picture there, especially on the 60+ degree day that we were there. It was a bit windy so getting selfies took some patience. The scariest part about this beautiful place was all the beware of rattle snack signs along the trails. And even though I knew that it was still a bit too cold for rattle snacks to come out, I couldn’t help but keep a wary eye out ready to run for my life (or scream bloody murder) if I caught sight of one. There were also dogs EVERYWHERE which made the hike even more enjoyable. After out hike we stopped in Colorado Springs for a little shopping and a nice carbo loaded dinner at an Italian restaurant.

https://gardenofgods.com/

     The next morning we were off to Steamboat Springs to our Air BnB house, with the rest of our crew. But of course on the way up we thought we would break up the 3 hour drive by stopping at a brewery or two. Outer Range Brew Co. was our first stop and it was the land of skiers and snowboards and people who look way too cool for me to be around. This is one of the best breweries in the country (I’m not just saying that, it’s a fact) and I can now see why! They had such a good selection of beer and there wasn't anything there that I didn't enjoy. They also have some great merchandise which I had to have little souvenir from. And like all good breweries there were loads of pups hanging out. At a whopping 9,000+ feet up the beers went straight to your head. And just before we made it to the Steamboat Springs house we grabbed one more drink and some lunch at Tommy Knocker brewery. This place is located in the middle of an old mining town and the brewery pays tribute to that with its logo and decor in the building.

https://www.outerrange.com/

https://tommyknocker.com/

     So we finally arrive at the house and it is immaculate from the outside. Honestly it was by far the nicest house I have EVER stayed in! The property consisted of the main house (where the owners lived) and the smaller (yet still humongous house that we stayed in down the road). To paint a picture of the town for you, the area is just so massive with so much land that people named their own streets! This makes it hard to find on GPS but still so appropriate for some of the streets we drove past. This house had everything needed for a weekend away, complete with its own movie theater, arcade room (I’m talking the classics pinball, ski ball, basketball, air hockey), and incredible views of the mountains. This place was perfect for our group of 6 but easily sleeps 10 people! Even though it was about a 10 to 15 minute drive into town, Steamboat itself is a winter wonderland. They have a strip of shops, bars, and restaurants that were always lively at night and loads of winter activities. They say in the summer it is just as good because when all the ice melts they turn everything into water sports.

https://abnb.me/V687YeLPqV

 

     While we were in Steamboat Springs we were able to snow shoe, which if you haven’t done it but are very uncoordinated like myself, it is the best snow activity! It’s basically hiking with big shoes on that have metal grips so you don’t fall off the mountain. The higher up the trail we got the better the views were. We could actually see the whole town in front of us, it was really incredible. Everyone that we passed along the trail was super nice waving and smiling and giving a hello (which was a clear sign that they we were not in New York). One guy even gave us some tips about going to the hot springs which we had planned for later that night. The hot springs are basically a natural Jacuzzi that’s in the middle of the woods. It’s a big tourist spot for people who go to Steamboat. What we didn’t know was that after sunset was clothing optional (insert cheesing face emoji here). So before we hit the bumpy off road drive to the hot springs we of course had to stop for lunch and a beer at the local brewery.

https://www.mountaintapbrewery.com/

     When we finally get to the hot springs there were a ridiculous amount of people coming and going. They charged us $5 to get in and another $5 to buy a towel (which was really a wash cloth). So if you ever do go there I highly recommend bringing your own. For all of its creepiness of some people being naked it really was an awesome experience. Being in the middle of the woods I would have thought it would have been pitch black, but because there were so many stars out, it perfectly lit the sky up. Probably was a good thing that it was faint lighting for the nudists there. Which I should add that our group were not a part of. Another word of advice would be to get dressed in your bathing suite before going to the resort. Since it is super busy there and literally on the side of a mountain there isn't much room for buildings, so they only have a small wooden shack to get changed in (think of the part in Frozen when Anna and Sven need to stop for supplies in the forest). Thankfully we were able to get the section of the shack that had some curtains. I’m making it sound negative but maybe I was just a little scarred from the man who tripped on the stairs while getting out of the springs and we all got a view full of his royal jewels. It really was a one of a kind experience that I would hands down do again… just preferably in the day time.

https://www.colorado.com/videos/colorado-hot-springs-strawberry-park-steamboat-springs

     When we left Steamboat Springs we stopped by another popular tourist spot, the nature persevere for buffalo and also elk. It was a crazy thing to see because they all just got along and ate together in a big circle. There were loads of people up against the fence taking pictures of the animals. We also stopped by the Red Rocks amphitheater which was covered in snow. The amphitheater is like Colorado’s version of New York's MSG, all the big concerts take place there nestled in the middle of a mountain. All I could think of was how anyone could drive to the concert because they must have been stuck in traffic for hours on the way in and out (SINGLE LANES ONLY!).  But the stadium is beautiful with its mountain scenery. I would love to see a show there because I can only imagine how good the music must sound. That same day we also visited a Stem Cider Taproom and Grill. If you are a fan of ciders this is the place to go! They had so many interesting flavors to try. My favorites were the lavender and this other one that tasted like a hot toddy. Their kitchen was also impressive. Since I have been meat free it was a little harder to find something on the menu. I ended up going for the beet burger that honestly tasted like a regular hamburger but better! I really loved it and it made me appreciate my new pescaterian since it made me try new things I probably would have never gone for. But don’t even get me started on their French fries!!!!!! They were out of this world delicious and the dipping sauce uggh serious yum.

https://www.denver.org/listing/buffalo-herd-nature-preserve/4549/

https://www.redrocksonline.com/

https://stemciders.com/

     On my last day in Colorado Michelle’s brother John and his girlfriend Ashley (who are now good buddies of mine) showed me around Boulder, since this was one of the only big spots we didn’t get to see on the rest of the trip. We stopped to get some breakfast and coffee in this cute little Italian shop called Amante. Everything was sooo good in there so had to give it a little mention. We spent the day walking around the outdoor mall on Pearl Street which had some major brands and cute little homemade shops. And before long it was time to head out of there and grab some lunch before I had to go to the airport. We ate at this place called Waterloo, which looked like an underground station in London, so I couldn’t not go in! It was actually a Johnny Cash themed restaurant that had all memorabilia on the walls, including a chunk of a Cadillac car on the wall.  

https://www.boulderdowntown.com/?gclid=Cj0KCQjw4fHkBRDcARIsACV58_Gqhm4R7l7iR9VKtopTcGiiBtXCkV6JLTGsJzFyN6Gn-hncH2RVcQMaAqDhEALw_wcB

https://www.boulderdowntown.com/?gclid=Cj0KCQjw4fHkBRDcARIsACV58_Gqhm4R7l7iR9VKtopTcGiiBtXCkV6JLTGsJzFyN6Gn-hncH2RVcQMaAqDhEALw_wcB

https://www.waterloolouisville.com/

     On this trip we averaged about 7 to 8 miles a day of walking. You would think I would have lost some weight from all the activities but the eating and drinking heavy beer put a stop to that (talk about a balance!). I can now see why Michelle loves living in Colorado so much. There is just an urge to get up and do something active every day because it is literally all anyone does there! And other than the occasional nose bleeds from high altitude, I really had an incredible time on this trip and I can definitely see myself going back to Colorado in the future!

Murphy's Law...

If things were going right I should be sitting in the living room of my house in England next to Sam right now, but unfortunately that’s just not the case. A week ago I got the notification from UPS that my passport and what I thought would be my visa were on its way. This UPS website that I had been refreshing daily since December, thinking all my worries would vanish once that little blue dot would start to move. Last Tuesday I waited by my front door for UPS to pull up, I yelped with excitement when I saw the truck pull up and I opened the door to look down at a large envelope. But when I looked at it I immediately knew something was not right.

I ripped it open to find all the documents that I had sent to immigration with my passport on top. I franticly searched through my passport looking for my visa stickered in somewhere in the pages, but nothing was there. I flipped through it again hoping that I must have just overlooked it in my excitement, but again nothing. I tried to keep myself calm as I started looking through the pages of my documents to see if somehow the visa was slipped in among the hundreds of pages, but still nothing. That’s when I really started to lose my cool. I had my documents, my passport, but no visa, and no letter with an explanation of what this meant. What I did notice was that along with all the documents I was meant to send to immigration I also had to provide them with 2 passport sized photos, which were missing from the returned envelope. So all sorts of scenarios were running through my head. What was the mistake here? Was I granted the visa because my pictures were gone and they had sent my passport back? Or was I denied because they sent everything back and there was no visa inside of my passport? Could someone in immigration had messed up royally (pun intended) and just so happened to forget to attach the sticker in my passport before putting it inside the envelope?

Heartbroken, I called Sam to tell him what had happened. And it was really crap going from over the moon beyond excited the day before thinking that this was finally all coming to an end, only to find out that something was clearly wrong but we had no idea what it was. You would think that our paid solicitor would have some idea as to what this meant but even he was speechless and said that he had never encountered something like this before. So what were we to do? My flight was supposed to take off the following week and we had no answers. So we quickly contacted everyone we thought who could help us including the MP (government official in the UK) only to get told information that had us going round in circles, with still no idea if my visa was approved or denied.

When we got a hold of someone from the immigration hotline they had told Sam that they would email me a decision within the next 48-72 hours. Leaving it of course last minute before my flight on the Monday at 8pm. I had even called the same immigration hotline, not realizing we had contacted the same place and they told me the exact same thing. So 2 different people in 2 different countries that must be a safe bet to think that this information would lead us to finding out the results Monday before my flight. Sam and I discussed it a bunch, the pros and cons of flying on Monday if my visa was approved or denied. We thought if its approved great no worries, I get on the flight and we finally begin a real life in London. If it was denied then so what I still go back and at least see Sam for a couple of weeks before starting the process of appealing the denial (which has to be done in 28 days of the denial).

Sunday night I had a big family dinner as a little going away party for me/ celebration. As we were sitting there chatting we talked about how my flight was in 25 hours and they couldn’t believe the day was finally here. Only for me to laugh about missing my flight jokingly, when all of a sudden I said because I land on the 4^th. To which everyone looked at me and said tomorrow is the 4^th Nicole. As I nervous laughed I got up to double check my flight details to see that my calendar had showed March 4^th flight from JFK, but when I triple checked on my booking email it showed leaving the 3^rd and arriving on the 4^th at 8am! In an absolute panic I realized that my Virgin Atlantic app showed that the flight was currently boarding and I was about to miss the flight I waited 3 months to get on! I quickly called up with 50 minutes to take off and was able to change my flight no problem. And since I wasn’t planning on leaving until Monday night anyway I figured no sweat I was all set for being home Tuesday morning anyway. My family and I get a good chuckle of the situation (after I stopped hyperventilating) and continued to enjoy my last night in New York.

When yesterday rolls around I’m beyond excited that it’s finally the day I am supposed to leave and can finally be with Sam. As I started to get ready to go to the airport I was still waiting to receive the email to tell me about my visa. When it was just 3 hours before I had to leave for the airport I started to get worried and decided to call immigration to see what was happening (I should also mention that calling immigration costs $2 a minute on top of the charge to call the UK). When I finally get in touch with someone and I explain that I waited the full 72 hours for an answer the man on the phone tells me that Sam and I were told the wrong wait time. The email would come within a 15 business day waiting period. With absolute horror I demanded to talk to management in which the man left me on hold for $6 worth only to tell me that the management was unavailable and that they would be telling me the same thing he was. And that’s when I went full on yelling at the man stating how horrible this was being apart from my husband for so long and all I want to do is see him. The man told me that the immigration department would not be held accountable if I were to get on the plane and be detained for questioning at the airport. Here was my logic because I so wanted to see Sam and be in our home together I thought I might as well still leave that night. As a US citizen I have the right to enter the UK with no visa needed and without one I would simply be “visiting” the country. But because I was denied once and still have this visa in process there was the chance that I would be detained and questioned and potentially if they thought there was the possibility that I would try to remain illegally they could refuse my entry.

I cried for hours and after being told by our solicitor to not get on the plane I was completely distraught. Sam and I talked it over for another hour and came to the conclusion that it just wasn’t worth the risk for me to come back. Instead we were going to try to make a plan to have him come to New York and wait out the 15 business days with me. This will all be work pending for Sam since he’s put in leave several times already for the days he thought I was supposed to be home, we have my best friend’s wedding this summer he put time in for, and we are supposed to be going away with the Hayward family at the end of the month that he also had to put days in for. It’s looking likely that he should be able to come to New York, but this feeling of uncertainty and never actually knowing what is going on in my own life is gut wrenching.

I have tried so hard to remain positive in all of this but to be honest my life motto is expect the worst but hope for the best. I mentally prepare myself for the worst to happen so that I do not let my feelings get me down, or I am prepared in the worst case scenario with a backup plan. It is so hard to think about how much time we have been apart (more than anything we endured in our relationship), how I have not worked in a career that I love so much since June, and to feel like everything that I had planned for this year and the beginning of my marriage has been completely ripped from my hands. The feeling of having no control over anything in my life is honestly indescribable. I try very hard to see the light in it but there are more days that I find it difficult to do anything with my day. I know all the things that I could be doing and have the ability to, but my lack of motivation and desire to do it keeps me from it.

And my god I have to say how also very lucky that I am to have such amazing parents who have literally supported me 100% in all of this. They have picked me up at my very lows and let me express all my anger to support me emotionally. This uniquely horrible situation has allowed me to strengthen every bond I have with the people that are dearest in my life. My friends who constantly text me to make sure I am alright, my family that always asks for updates on the situation, and my work family who send me messages just to make me smile. And I know Sam feels the same way for everyone on his side of the pond. In my low of lows, I still find myself laughing which tells me I have not been defeated by this. And I always knew how much I loved my husband before this, but everything going on has made me realize even more that I chose the right person to spend my life with. I know that whatever happens to us in the future I am always going to have this amazing person by my side (even if he isn’t actually physically by my side). And for the record even when I was crying on the phone to him yesterday he was willing to do whatever it took to make me smile. I mean he promised to get me a dog when I’m finally home and now that multiple people are reading this you’re all accountable to see it through that I get this pup I was promised! (Lol sorry not sorry Sam I need a puppy).

As it stands I have now changed my flight to March 19^th, giving immigration their 15 business days and 5 extra cushion days in case anything else needs to be sorted. We know from speaking to people at immigration that a decision has been made but they cannot disclose it over the phone because they cannot see the answer to it, but merely know that it has completed processing.

To end this I will state all the positives of not being able to go back to London yesterday as big or small as they may seem they are the driving force keeping me a float. I get to spend more time with my beautiful niece who I love more than words and makes me instantly smile when I see. I get to have more Sunday meals with my family (all together that is a happiness like no other). I can see the finale to the bachelor and drink wine with my sister in law! I get to school my brother in our ping pong tournaments. I get to hang out with my friends. I can hopefully spend some time if he gets to come to New York soon. I get to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day with my family (although giving up meat will be interesting when they start serving corn beef and cabbage). And I’ve finally started reading the Harry Potter books and can finish the second and potentially go on to the third!

 

  

New Year, New Fitness Addiction?

     Before the start of every New Year I make a list of things I want to improve in my life. This year (probably because the excess amount of free time I have) I’ve been able to really focus on those things and get off to a great start. I think where I’ve gone wrong in past years is that I have given myself too broad of an idea rather than little realistic things I can do everyday in order to get a significant result. My small changes that I wanted to keep up from last year are to write and read more. One of my big changes for this year is trying to become a pescatarian (with the exception of slip ups every now and then). Last night I struggled to stay away from the buffalo chicken spin dip at the super bowl party I was at. But it’s a working progress. My other improvement is the ever popular fitness goal. I am making a point to move/workout for at least 30 minutes a day. Having an apple watch helps massively in that I can see my daily movement, standing, and calories burnt in the day. I have already felt a massive change in that I don’t feel pressured to workout everyday but just move around, because really 30 minutes in a day isn’t that much. I have even started making up workouts by running up and down the stairs with intervals of push-ups and sit-ups in between sets. And of course when the weather is permitting I go for runs outside for however long I feel good for.

     After bumping into an old friend from high school last weekend we got to talking about how we used to run together on our track team and how he’s now working at the Peloton showroom in Chelsea in the city. If you don’t know what Peloton is, it’s a semi new fitness bike and now treadmill that’s very high tech. It has a large screen where you can log into workouts from home and take part in a class that’s going on live in the Peloton studios. Of course these machines cost you a pretty penny because of all these features, but you can also download the Peloton app that gives you the workouts to complete on any stationary bike or treadmill that you have at home or in your local gym.

https://studio.onepeloton.com/tread

     So when Kevin asked me if I wanted to come and take some classes I was jumping at the opportunity. I went to my first treadmill boot camp class on Thursday and now I am hooked! The studio itself is absolutely gorgeous! Let’s just say it wasn’t like walking into a Planet Fitness or any old gym. It felt like I was walking into a high end gallery. The locker room has everything a girl could need for her fitness essentials including deodorant, dry shampoo, hairspray, you name it really and they had it. So after I was done admiring the locker room it was time to get acquainted with the machine I would be doing my work out on.

     At first glance it doesn’t look much more than your average treadmill with the exception of the large screen on it, but after Kevin showed me all of its features it seemed like a runners dream. The belt in which you run on has grooves to prevent slipping and felt like to keep you in place. I know when I run on a regular treadmill I can sometimes feel myself swaying from left to right on the belt. It has a “free” button which allows you to run sprints at your own pace without the help of the speed up button, so basically it goes as fast as you can. The other main difference between a Peloton treadmill and a regular one is the two buttons on the sides. On the left there is the incline and on the right side is the speed, but instead of a + or – button it is a wheel that is just so much easier to use when in a work out. The screen shows you speed, distance, incline, and rank in the class. At home it would show all of these things and also the instructor doing the workout of your choice.

What I did not know about this workout I had signed up for at the Peloton showroom was that it would be recorded! The workout that I would be doing would be broadcasted live in front of every Peloton machine in the country! Thinking about this all my fears flashed through my head, the number one being falling off this machine and having it on tape FOREVER! And trust me if you know me well you know how clumsy of a person I am and this was a reasonable fear. Luckily for this session I was just out of sight of the camera if all went terribly wrong, but they also had a few staff in the room in case things did go wrong for me or anyone else.

     The class probably had about 10-15 people in it and I was all sorts of pumped up once I knew this would be recorded. Plus knowing that I would be competing with everyone in the class put my competitiveness into overdrive. I need a class that challenges me but also has the sense of competition because that will automatically make me push even harder. As the workout went on I was feeling really great honestly, it was quick to get into the groove and the instructor Jess had the sweetest demeanor that she really made me feel like I could run a marathon. She kept me pumped the whole time and her little shout outs during the class had me pushing harder for some recognition of my own. Every time I felt like I was getting winded I would just look up at the leaderboard and see how close I was to the person above me and increase my speed to catch up with them. I ended up finishing the class in fourth just behind Kevin and the two other trainers in the room who did the class so I was feeling pretty good about it.

     The class finished with 15 minutes of all lower body weights, which was probably the hardest part of the workout for me. The instructor Jess was an absolute machine busting out 15 reps of everything seamlessly while also talking into the mic (it really is a talent in itself). When the class completely finished I felt a rush of energy and felt really great. Seeing this I was asked a staff member if I wanted to complete a yoga class that was starting about 40 minutes later. I was skeptical because I had literally done one yoga class in my life and it went horribly wrong, but for some reason I also jumped at the opportunity to try another class and said yes.

     For all that don’t know my athletic/coordination/flexibility they have no correlation because although I can run for miles and have decent stamina, I cannot touch my toes or stand on one leg without toppling over. So yoga really isn’t something that should be in my vocabulary. As I was waiting to walk into the studio I had asked one of the staff members to put me somewhere in the back so that I wouldn’t be seen on camera (because this is also a class that gets broadcasted to all Peloton app users, there isn’t a machine for yoga). The girl responded that it is a small classroom with only 1 row so it would be hard to not be seen at some point or another. HA! Way to put the viewers at home at ease if they weren’t advanced yoga participants. To add insult to injury my instructor Jess and another trainer also did the class with me… oh and were right next to me to make me look extra gangly and uncoordinated. When the class finally starts the yoga instructor began by telling the people at home that this was not a beginner’s class so if they had only just started their method they should return to this video after more practice. WHAT AM I DOING IN THIS ROOM!?!? But it was too late, the camera was rolling and there was no escaping the next 45 minutes of my torture. BUT plot twist! I actually ended up getting the hang of all the moves relatively quickly, because really what choice did I have? There were a few times where I was thinking “I can’t believe I’m actually doing this but I think I’m doing it pretty damn well!” Well at least that was my thought because I don’t know about you but sometimes our mind tells us we're doing something really well but in reality you’re just not. Like when people are drunk and think they can dance but then watch it the next day on their friend’s Snapchat and they forward it in embarrassment (not that it has ever happened to me of course lol).

     So I finished the class strong and honestly felt like a million bucks. I wasn’t achy as I would usually be after running on a treadmill, and wasn’t as tight thanks to the yoga class. And the days after I definitely wasn’t as sore as I thought I would be. To be honest I would love to buy one of those treadmills for my house if I had the money for it because I 100% think they are worth it, but for the meantime I now have reconnected with Kevin who is happy to have me take classes whenever I want! That obviously meant I booked another class which is actually tonight! I cannot wait to get back and try another treadmill class. What is really great is that they are finally expanding to England and they have just opened up a show room in London! This could just be my new fitness addiction.

I really can't thank my friend Kevin and everyone at Peloton enough for such a great experience and not only that how incredibly friendly, helpful, and supportive everyone was!