A Woodland Weekend Away: Center Parcs!

Center Parcs

Elveden Forest, Suffolk

Trip two of this year happened in late February when I went to Center Parcs with Sam and my in laws, Pat and Clive. Center Parcs has different locations around England and every time I told someone I was going they would quickly respond with “which one?!”. We stayed at the Elveden forest resort, which is only a couple of hours from where we live. This woodland place is filled with plenty of outdoor and indoor activities, and was everything that I was told it would be. Sam and his family have been going to Center Parcs since he was just 2 years old, so it had a lot to live up to for me. I had never been anywhere like Center Parcs before. I think the best way to describe it would be a very active weekend away in the woods. Since the grounds are massive the easiest thing to do is cycle everywhere you go (not my favourite thing in the world but it was all part of the experience). Plus my bum went numb after about the fist 10 minutes of riding. This was also a really special trip for me as I was meant to go here last year with the entire Hayward group, including my little nephew George, but couldn’t because I was still in New York waiting for my visa. My brother in law, John, Vicky, and little George could not make the trip this year because of the long awaited arrival of my niece Alice. 

                                   

The cabin was so quaint and the perfect size for the four of us. Since it is a family resort Sam and I slept in the “kids room” that had two twin size beds but could easily be pushed together (and yes Sam fell into the gap a good few times). The size of the cabins depends on the amount of people staying in them. There are also the insanely expensive “tree house” cabins that are complete with a hot tub and game room, and can sleep about 20 people or something crazy like that. All the cabins come with their own kitchenette, which is perfect for saving some money from the restaurants on resort and making your own meals (although I was very fond of the Bella Italia and American diner). There is also a convenient little supermarket in the middle of everything where you can get all your essentials for a dinner in. The cabins had a fireplace, that I found was perfect for roasting marshmallows inside on one of our cold winter’s night. I should also mention how this was the first time ANYONE other than me had ever had s’mores before! If you’re not American a s’more consists of graham crackers, usually Hershey’s chocolate bar (any chocolate will do), and a marshmellow that should have been roasted on the fire. And you better believe roasting marshmallows has its own art form. Since they didn’t have graham crackers at the supermarket, I had to improvise and used Digestive cookies, the ones coated with milk chocolate (genius I know). Apparently a s’more is more American than I thought because even the name was troublesome for my British family members to say. And of course the “s’more what?” pun happened a few times. 

On the first day we were eager to get to the indoor pool. This was the mecca of Center Parcs. It is always fairly packed, but always fun. I quickly turned into a child running from each water slide to the next and down the rapids pushing little kids out of the way as I slid past them (no children were harmed in my recklessness). This was definitely all of our favourite thing to do at Center Parcs. There is also the treacherous water slide called the Cyclone. The first time I went on it with the rest of the family, I thought I was going to go flying off the tube! I was shot up into the air, after taking a solid 15 foot drop down into the swirling room of water. It also didn’t help that Sam kept freaking me out by saying “are you holding on tight enough?!” the entire time we were on the ride. 

On one of the rainier days at Center Parcs we took it easy and played some mini golf. If you know me at all you’ll know that even in family fun environments, the minute any competition happens I’m all in guns blazing (and especially when it comes to mini golf). Since there was an unfair amount of wind happening whenever I seemed to putt the ball, there was an unfortunate amount of swear words that came from my mouth. Luckily there weren’t any children close by. After loosing at that, I had to blow off some steam at one of the arcades and beat Sam at air hockey and Mario Kart, to bring my sprits back up. But don’t even get me started on how horrible I was at bowling the next day! 

             

The other activity we took part in during the weekend was the exhilarating outdoor activity called The Drop. By far this was the most thrill seeking thing I have ever done (I’m not very fond of heights). The Drop consisted of a bunch of… well drops, throwing yourself off of high platforms. Some of them were free falls and others were with harnesses. The tallest free fall drop was from 10 meters (33 feet!) high onto a giant inflatable bag (absolutely zero harness or protective gear). I honestly couldn’t even believe I did it after struggling to jump off of the first platform that was 4.5 meters (almost 15 feet). And as the brochure states, it is not for the fainthearted. Again I unintentionally let out a few swear words while jumping off the edge (sorry mom). What didn’t help my fear was the fact that there was a little girl doing the experience with her dad, and she was easily flying off the platforms with zero fear in her. She was even impressing the instructors. 

The free falling onto the bag is usually the last part of the activity, but since the weather was pretty windy that day it had to be done first in case it got any worse. It was so windy that all previous sessions of that activity that day were cancelled (this just added to the fear of jumping for me). The instructors were really great and once they got to know us better they were having a real laugh with us. Then came the part where we were supposed to jump off the platform with our harness on and hang from a punching bag for a few seconds. The instructors thought that it would be really funny to extend how long Sam and I held on for. Then they went even further and asked us to let go of the bag with our legs and continue holding on. I was surprised how long I was able to hold on for, but when I heard loud gasps from below I was wondering what I had done wrong. But low and behold my husband who does not like to follow instructions because he “misheard” them let go of the bag with his arms instead of his legs and was dangling upside down with his harness wires wrapped all around him. I had never seen someone’s facial expressions change so quickly as the instructors went from laughing to panic. But whatever Sam, I was just waiting for the overdue signal for me to let go of the bag HELLO PEOPLE! Some of us did listen to the directions. I knew he would be fine. 

It really was an incredible experience and being someone who is not too fond of heights, I was getting more courageous after each drop falling backwards and forwards, and not wanting to death grip my harness. It had given me a little adrenaline junkie feel, and we’re already planning on giving their zip line experience a go next time we are at Center Parcs in October. That will be an exciting trip since it will be for Sam’s birthday and we will finally have all the Haywards with us, even little Alice! Hopefully we can go back during the warmer months too, so that we can do some of the water sports like kayaking and paddle boarding in the lake. 

I could really go on talking about this place for ages. There is just so much to take in there. I just loved being able to go on relaxing long walks, eating at all of the different types of restaurants each day, getting bags of candy at the sweet shop, seeing wildlife right outside your window, and enjoying a fun weekend away with family (just to name a few). I feel like everyone takes away something memorable there. Some people remember it for the hot chocolates at the main bars, the diner, or the potent smell of chlorine in the recreation building. But for me it was just the calming sense of not having a time table and doing as you feel throughout the day. No one dresses up there (besides for going to the bar or to eat at night). Most of the day was spent in sweats or leggings and sneakers (athleisure attire is the best). 

Even as a group of adults going it was still an unforgettable trip. This place really had so much to offer and loads of bars to hang out at night. As part of their birthday present, we got Pat and Clive a massage package at the spa. I will 100% be doing that next time, as they highly recommended it. Even though I think most people would go to Center Parcs in the warmer months, I think going in the winter was still fantastic. We were able to have those cozy nights in by the fire having a few drinks and playing board games. I can see why Sam loves this place so much. I have a feeling this place will become a tradition for Sam and I and our future family trips to come.

It's been a long, I shouldn't have left with... (if you know you know)

New York, New York
Nashville, Tennessee
Long Island, New York

It's been far too long since my last post, but it was because of a whirlwind of events the last few month!

Since April, Sam and I started a petition for my return to the UK, and with an unimaginable amount of signatures and exposure from Time 107.5 FM radio station in Romford, we quickly got a response from immigration. And the best part was that I actually received an apology from the immigration officer I spoke to.

It turned out that I was rejected by mistake the second time we applied for my visa from the US. The officer who viewed our application failed to check with the reasoning for our first application rejection (only rejected because we applied when I was still in the UK). The second rejection was because the officer determined Sam and I's relationship to not be genuine (yes I know, absolutely laughable). The month of May was an absolute celebration with Sam coming over to visit me in New York, and finding out together that I would be back in the UK in the following weeks. I spent loads of time with family and friends and just in complete eagerness to put the last 6 months of misery behind me.

In all the stress of the 6 months being stuck in New York, I learned a lot about myself (lots to time to reflect on life). Mostly the fact that I don't always deal with things in the best way. I looked back at my time in New York, and although I did some amazing things and traveled a bit, on the down time I wasn't taking care of myself. Major stress is not something I had ever really had to deal with, so I never really understood how to cope with it then. It felt like my life was taking huge steps backwards. But now I feel as though a massive weight has been lifted and I can settle into my life. I have a new appreciation for the time I have in my life, and what I do/who I fill it with.

When I got back to London in May, I started the application process to begin teaching. The paperwork took longer than I ever anticipated. I mean I actually had to go and get ink fingerprints done and send them off to the FBI as part of the background check. It was an intense process that basically has taken up to this week to finish up. So unfortunately I was unable to start teaching for the duration of the school year, but luckily the agency I am working with has been incredibly helpful and caring to my situation.

 

It really felt as though everything was beginning to fall into place. I had three really great opportunities come my way for this fall (one including a reality tv show). I was able to take a couple mini getaways to Scotland (to see the Spice Girls), and Germany (for a potential job opportunity). It just felt so nice to have options and thinking about the future.

 

I was only back in London for 2 months before it was time to head back to New York for more celebrations with family and friends. It was satisfying to know that it would just be a visit, and there wasn't any pressure of dealing with immigration on the way back. I landed in New York and a couple days later I was straight off to Nashville for my bestie's bachelorette party. Flew Back to New York for my niece's first birthday party, got to see a lot of friends in the weeks between, and ended the month with my other bestie's wedding, and Sam and I's 2 year wedding anniversary.

I am beyond ready to see what the next few months back in London will have in store for me. But most of all I am very eager to start my career after A YEAR of unemployment.

There is certainly lots more to come!

Murphy's Law...

If things were going right I should be sitting in the living room of my house in England next to Sam right now, but unfortunately that’s just not the case. A week ago I got the notification from UPS that my passport and what I thought would be my visa were on its way. This UPS website that I had been refreshing daily since December, thinking all my worries would vanish once that little blue dot would start to move. Last Tuesday I waited by my front door for UPS to pull up, I yelped with excitement when I saw the truck pull up and I opened the door to look down at a large envelope. But when I looked at it I immediately knew something was not right.

I ripped it open to find all the documents that I had sent to immigration with my passport on top. I franticly searched through my passport looking for my visa stickered in somewhere in the pages, but nothing was there. I flipped through it again hoping that I must have just overlooked it in my excitement, but again nothing. I tried to keep myself calm as I started looking through the pages of my documents to see if somehow the visa was slipped in among the hundreds of pages, but still nothing. That’s when I really started to lose my cool. I had my documents, my passport, but no visa, and no letter with an explanation of what this meant. What I did notice was that along with all the documents I was meant to send to immigration I also had to provide them with 2 passport sized photos, which were missing from the returned envelope. So all sorts of scenarios were running through my head. What was the mistake here? Was I granted the visa because my pictures were gone and they had sent my passport back? Or was I denied because they sent everything back and there was no visa inside of my passport? Could someone in immigration had messed up royally (pun intended) and just so happened to forget to attach the sticker in my passport before putting it inside the envelope?

Heartbroken, I called Sam to tell him what had happened. And it was really crap going from over the moon beyond excited the day before thinking that this was finally all coming to an end, only to find out that something was clearly wrong but we had no idea what it was. You would think that our paid solicitor would have some idea as to what this meant but even he was speechless and said that he had never encountered something like this before. So what were we to do? My flight was supposed to take off the following week and we had no answers. So we quickly contacted everyone we thought who could help us including the MP (government official in the UK) only to get told information that had us going round in circles, with still no idea if my visa was approved or denied.

When we got a hold of someone from the immigration hotline they had told Sam that they would email me a decision within the next 48-72 hours. Leaving it of course last minute before my flight on the Monday at 8pm. I had even called the same immigration hotline, not realizing we had contacted the same place and they told me the exact same thing. So 2 different people in 2 different countries that must be a safe bet to think that this information would lead us to finding out the results Monday before my flight. Sam and I discussed it a bunch, the pros and cons of flying on Monday if my visa was approved or denied. We thought if its approved great no worries, I get on the flight and we finally begin a real life in London. If it was denied then so what I still go back and at least see Sam for a couple of weeks before starting the process of appealing the denial (which has to be done in 28 days of the denial).

Sunday night I had a big family dinner as a little going away party for me/ celebration. As we were sitting there chatting we talked about how my flight was in 25 hours and they couldn’t believe the day was finally here. Only for me to laugh about missing my flight jokingly, when all of a sudden I said because I land on the 4^th. To which everyone looked at me and said tomorrow is the 4^th Nicole. As I nervous laughed I got up to double check my flight details to see that my calendar had showed March 4^th flight from JFK, but when I triple checked on my booking email it showed leaving the 3^rd and arriving on the 4^th at 8am! In an absolute panic I realized that my Virgin Atlantic app showed that the flight was currently boarding and I was about to miss the flight I waited 3 months to get on! I quickly called up with 50 minutes to take off and was able to change my flight no problem. And since I wasn’t planning on leaving until Monday night anyway I figured no sweat I was all set for being home Tuesday morning anyway. My family and I get a good chuckle of the situation (after I stopped hyperventilating) and continued to enjoy my last night in New York.

When yesterday rolls around I’m beyond excited that it’s finally the day I am supposed to leave and can finally be with Sam. As I started to get ready to go to the airport I was still waiting to receive the email to tell me about my visa. When it was just 3 hours before I had to leave for the airport I started to get worried and decided to call immigration to see what was happening (I should also mention that calling immigration costs $2 a minute on top of the charge to call the UK). When I finally get in touch with someone and I explain that I waited the full 72 hours for an answer the man on the phone tells me that Sam and I were told the wrong wait time. The email would come within a 15 business day waiting period. With absolute horror I demanded to talk to management in which the man left me on hold for $6 worth only to tell me that the management was unavailable and that they would be telling me the same thing he was. And that’s when I went full on yelling at the man stating how horrible this was being apart from my husband for so long and all I want to do is see him. The man told me that the immigration department would not be held accountable if I were to get on the plane and be detained for questioning at the airport. Here was my logic because I so wanted to see Sam and be in our home together I thought I might as well still leave that night. As a US citizen I have the right to enter the UK with no visa needed and without one I would simply be “visiting” the country. But because I was denied once and still have this visa in process there was the chance that I would be detained and questioned and potentially if they thought there was the possibility that I would try to remain illegally they could refuse my entry.

I cried for hours and after being told by our solicitor to not get on the plane I was completely distraught. Sam and I talked it over for another hour and came to the conclusion that it just wasn’t worth the risk for me to come back. Instead we were going to try to make a plan to have him come to New York and wait out the 15 business days with me. This will all be work pending for Sam since he’s put in leave several times already for the days he thought I was supposed to be home, we have my best friend’s wedding this summer he put time in for, and we are supposed to be going away with the Hayward family at the end of the month that he also had to put days in for. It’s looking likely that he should be able to come to New York, but this feeling of uncertainty and never actually knowing what is going on in my own life is gut wrenching.

I have tried so hard to remain positive in all of this but to be honest my life motto is expect the worst but hope for the best. I mentally prepare myself for the worst to happen so that I do not let my feelings get me down, or I am prepared in the worst case scenario with a backup plan. It is so hard to think about how much time we have been apart (more than anything we endured in our relationship), how I have not worked in a career that I love so much since June, and to feel like everything that I had planned for this year and the beginning of my marriage has been completely ripped from my hands. The feeling of having no control over anything in my life is honestly indescribable. I try very hard to see the light in it but there are more days that I find it difficult to do anything with my day. I know all the things that I could be doing and have the ability to, but my lack of motivation and desire to do it keeps me from it.

And my god I have to say how also very lucky that I am to have such amazing parents who have literally supported me 100% in all of this. They have picked me up at my very lows and let me express all my anger to support me emotionally. This uniquely horrible situation has allowed me to strengthen every bond I have with the people that are dearest in my life. My friends who constantly text me to make sure I am alright, my family that always asks for updates on the situation, and my work family who send me messages just to make me smile. And I know Sam feels the same way for everyone on his side of the pond. In my low of lows, I still find myself laughing which tells me I have not been defeated by this. And I always knew how much I loved my husband before this, but everything going on has made me realize even more that I chose the right person to spend my life with. I know that whatever happens to us in the future I am always going to have this amazing person by my side (even if he isn’t actually physically by my side). And for the record even when I was crying on the phone to him yesterday he was willing to do whatever it took to make me smile. I mean he promised to get me a dog when I’m finally home and now that multiple people are reading this you’re all accountable to see it through that I get this pup I was promised! (Lol sorry not sorry Sam I need a puppy).

As it stands I have now changed my flight to March 19^th, giving immigration their 15 business days and 5 extra cushion days in case anything else needs to be sorted. We know from speaking to people at immigration that a decision has been made but they cannot disclose it over the phone because they cannot see the answer to it, but merely know that it has completed processing.

To end this I will state all the positives of not being able to go back to London yesterday as big or small as they may seem they are the driving force keeping me a float. I get to spend more time with my beautiful niece who I love more than words and makes me instantly smile when I see. I get to have more Sunday meals with my family (all together that is a happiness like no other). I can see the finale to the bachelor and drink wine with my sister in law! I get to school my brother in our ping pong tournaments. I get to hang out with my friends. I can hopefully spend some time if he gets to come to New York soon. I get to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day with my family (although giving up meat will be interesting when they start serving corn beef and cabbage). And I’ve finally started reading the Harry Potter books and can finish the second and potentially go on to the third!

 

  

The one where the visa didn’t come in time…

Mostly Long Island, New York

Dyker Heights, Brooklyn

2 places in New Jersey (but who can actually pronounce them?)

     So here is a quick update to the madness that has been this immigration process. I went in for my screening before I left for California on the 7^th of December but my paperwork wasn’t actually submitted until Monday the 10^th. That had left me just 7 days to hopefully have my paperwork processed and my passport mailed back to me before my flight on the 17^th. Well that was wishful thinking and here I am on the 27^th of December still in New York 1 month later, and its now been 1 month since I have seen Sam. With some luck I was able to change my flight… again.. to the 23^rd of December thinking that had to be it. I tried hard to stay optimistic but when that Thursday rolled around and I still had not heard a word about my visa I knew it is unlikely that I was going to have my visa by that Sunday. So unfortunately I missed Christmas and will now be missing New Years as my new flight is scheduled for January 2^nd. I am not happy about it because I would have obviously loved to be with Sam in our first year in our new home.

     I’m not going to lie though my frustration level is at an all-time high and I’m having a hard time believing how long this has all taken to get done. I know it could be worse and at least I know there is an end to all of this coming but this is the type of human that I am. I need to know dates, I hate not being in control, and I really really hate the lack of empathy from the professionals we are paying to help us make this situation easier.

     But and here is the big BUT, the revelation that I have has after spending the holidays seeing my family on Christmas Eve and all of Christmas day with my parents I know now that I was meant to be here. I've been to some fun Christmas parties where I dressed as the Grinch and was being all sorts of mischievous.... mostly just by drinking all the wine at the party. If being with Sam and our entire relationship has taught me anything it's that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. I could not have planned a better Christmas day with the two most important people in my world. This entire situation has brought the three of us closer than ever. And FINALLY my mother took the time on Christmas day to teach me all of her special recipes. My Italian-American family is cheering for joy reading that I’m sure. I now know how to make baked ziti, spinach pie, broccoli pie, and sweet potato pie! Which I know that Sam will find that more of a Christmas gift/ miracle than anything else I bring back to him.

                         

     I really have had an amazing month in New York so far! I’ve been spending loads of time with my parents and creating some wonderful memories, seeing friends, visiting family, stopping by my school in the Bronx and Queens, took a mini vay cay to Cali, and was asked to be a bridesmaid to my bestie getting married next year! I've been able to spend to major holidays with Thanksgiving and that's made me appreciate the struggle that a lot of people are also going through with immigration. Most of all I have had an out pour of people messaging me asking how it’s all going and sharing their stories with me. I feel so very loved and supported so thank you all so very much! I also have to give a shout out to a few of my cousins who talked me into posting again sooner than I thought. Knowing that you're reading and enjoying it means the world to me!

     So now that it is all a waiting game I will have fingers crossed for a swift return to London but also enjoy the time I have by making the most of it. If you or someone that you know is going through something similar please feel free to share it with me and my story with them. There has been so much comfort in having people reach out to me and even to Sam and helping out in any way that we can.